Under The Surface
by Lynnlee22
Summary: What if Gina Tognoni found her way back to Young and The Restless as someone else?
1. Chapter 1

He tucked the helmet under his arm before stepping a bit closer to the shiny, red sportscar. This bar wasn't crowded enough to be parking on the side of the street, he thought to himself as he leaned to check for flat tires or a boot.

Nothing. He turned back to the flashing neon sign, its light periodically illuminating the small parking lot. There were plenty of pickup trucks, plenty of motorcycles, even a few beater cars, but certainly nothing else quite like this. There had to be a story, he shrugged as he headed for the door.

The smell of stale cigarette smoke and beer hit him as soon as the door swung open and he nodded at the face of the man he now recognized at the pool table. Billy scanned the room slowly. The bar was a far cry from anywhere his family would ever be. The chances of running into someone he knew were virtually nonexistent, but he still felt compelled to check. The last thing he wanted tonight was a lecture.

She sat perched on the edge of the barstool, her back rigid and stiff, her shoulders tense. Even from a respectable distance, he could hear her words as she spoke to the man next to her.

"I appreciate it, but as I've already explained to you, I can buy my own drinks."

"I'm sure you can," he crooned, "but a pretty lady like yourself really shouldn't have to. It's a tragedy really. Every man in here should be ashamed of himself."

"I'm fine. Really. I'm just waiting on a phone call and then I'll be on my way. I'm sure there are plenty of other women in here that would love to take you up on that offer."

"None as pretty as you." He leaned in a bit closer.

"Honey." Billy saw her jump slightly at the sound of his voice. He sighed in mock frustration. "I finally got in touch with the Auto Club. They're sending someone now. It should only be about twenty minutes and then we'll be out of here." He waited to see how she'd respond, if she'd go along with it or if she'd balk and tell him to take a hike too.

He turned to face that still sat stubbornly close to her. "She's just upset. We've been looking forward to those dinner reservations for weeks now. It's not easy to get a sitter for five kids. Tonight of all nights the car decides to break down."

"Oh," he stammered, almost tripping over his own feet as he hurried to take a step back. "I uh … yeah, that's too bad. Well, you two have a nice evening. I hope you can still make it to dinner."

Billy smiled as he quickly shifted onto the now vacant barstool.

"Uh, thank you," she said quietly. "I think."

"You think?" He nodded at the bartender as his usual appeared in front of him. "Why the caveat? I think I just helped you shake that guy."

She nodded before taking a drink from her glass. "You did, but you also just gave me five kids. Do I look like I've had five kids?"

He leaned over and pretended to study her, then broke into an easy laugh at her slightly horrified expression. "Of course not," he grinned boyishly. "I just needed to put the fear of God in him. I think it was an inspired choice."

"It certainly seemed to work. Why don't you let me get that one for you?" She gestured to the drink in front of him. "My way of paying you back. Unless of course you're running on a tab. It looks like you might be pretty well known in this place."

"I come here a pretty good bit. It's a nice escape, on the outskirts on town, don't have to worry about running into the normal crew. I haven't seen you in here before though. I'm guessing that pretty red speedster outside belongs to you?"

"It's not exactly speeding anywhere right now," she grumbled. "I was going down the road and the next thing I knew the temperature gauge shot up and smoke started coming out from under the hood." She sighed heavily. "I was afraid if I didn't stop here, I wouldn't make it into town. Since I'm not familiar with Genoa City, I wasn't exactly sure how far I was from where I needed to be. This place wasn't the best place, but it was better than the middle of nowhere."

"Right," he smiled easily as he talked with her. There was something something about her that he instantly liked. "Where were you headed exactly?"

"The Genoa City Athletic Club," she answered. "I'm staying there and then tomorrow morning I've got a business meeting with a potential client."

"The club? Yeah, you're actually not too far, but I don't think you would have wanted to chance it. So you're in town for business? What kind of …"

"Hey Abbott?" One of the men at the pool table called out to him from across the bar. "You gonna sit at the bar all night or you gonna come play?"

Billy turned to look at them. "I think I'll sit this one out," he grinned. "Give you all a chance to practice." He turned back to face her. "Sorry," he smiled. "I …"

"Abbott? Is that what he called you?"

He felt his body tense as the question rang out in the air. "Yeah. My name is Billy Abbott."

"As in the Abbotts that run Jabot Cosmetics? Jack Abbott? John Abbott?"

"Yeah," he said slowly, trying to piece together why any of this was of importance to her. "I'm John Abbott's son, Jack's brother."

She laughed and leaned away from the bar. "Well then, I guess we got an early start on our meeting."

Slowly but surely the pieces began to fit together. "Wait so you're the meeting tomorrow morning, you're the online marketing specialist?" He took her hand as she extended it towards him.

"I am. It's a hell of a way to make a first impression," she smiled, "But I'm meeting with Jack tomorrow. The name's Kelly Cramer. Nice to meet you, Mr. Abbott."


	2. Chapter 2

"Call me Billy. Mr. Abbott doesn't exactly suit me." He looked over at the almost empty glass in front of her. "Can I get you another?"

"Thanks, but no. I'm actually still hoping I'll be driving out of here at some point tonight." She sighed as she looked down at the time on her phone. "I called AAA. They said they'd get here when as quickly as they could. With any luck, it'll be something simple. With my luck, they'll recommend scrapping it for parts."

"I'm sure it's not all that bad. How long ago did you call them?"

"It's been about a half an hour. It just feels a lot longer." She caught the expression on his face and quickly realized how her words may have been perceived. "Not that the company's bad or anything. I just …"

"No. No." He waved his hand in understanding. "I get it. You've been driving all day and I'm sure you're ready to get some rest. I'm afraid I don't know anything about fixing cars, but I can at least keep you company if you want, make sure your slightly inebriated admirer over there doesn't give you any more trouble."

She laughed softly. "That would be great. I'd like that. Actually, maybe you can help me. Give me a little bit of insight as to what your brother might be looking for in this position."

He shifted a bit on the stool and brought the drink to his lips again.

"What's the matter? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's not that. I'm just not the best person to give you insight as to what my brother thinks about much of anything these days. We're not exactly on the best of terms at the moment. Family can be …"

"You don't have to tell me. I've got my own horror stories and a few battle scars."

"So is that what brings you here?" He approached the subject carefully, but deliberately. "You obviously don't have to tell me anything, but I've heard a lot of really great things about Buchanan Enterprises and your work is well known. I can't imagine why you'd choose to leave a company that large and that prestigious to come work in a town like this. Don't get me wrong, Jabot is a great company and my brother – even though we have our issues- is a great man to work with. I'm just curious, that's all."

"I don't know," she said after a moment of silence. "Change is good sometimes and your brother … he's quite the charmer, pretty persistent too when he wants to be. He made me quite the offer and I was intrigued enough to at least come and meet with him and hear him out."

"I know he's pretty excited to meet with you. My sister, Ashley, mentioned it to me the other day."

"Ashley, she works in the lab, right?"

"Yeah, that's right." He smiled. "I'm impressed. You've done your research."

"I was a journalist in a former life," she said softly. "Research is kind of in the blood. There's a natural curiosity that comes with the job, which leads me to …" She turned towards him a bit more. "You said you and your brother weren't on great terms right now. Does that mean you don't work for Jabot?"

He smiled. "Well, trust me when I say if I took the time to tell you the whole story, you'd miss your meeting tomorrow, but suffice it to say that we have a complicated relationship. As for Jabot, I have a board seat, so because of that, I'm still involved in the big decisions, but I'm not currently holding a position there."

"Uh huh." Her curiosity was definitely peaked now. "So what do you do?"

"Give my family plenty to worry about, constantly disappoint those who love and care about me, generally live the life of a screwup." He tried to smile and brush off the words as a joke, but something about her expression told him she understood their true meaning.

"You know, I've been there myself quite a few times. It's not easy when everyone expects so little of you. Kind of makes you feel like it's pointless to strive for better, doesn't it?" She shook her head, forcing herself out of that place. She'd rose above those feelings long ago and nothing and no one would bring her back there. She'd come here for a purpose and, even if no one else knew what that purpose truly was, it was what propelled her. She deserved this chance. She deserved this moment.

"You've clearly found a reason though, right? You must have decided to strive for better."

"Sometimes the best reason is to prove people wrong," she said with a mischievous grin he appreciated. "Not much better than being able to shove your success in other people's faces."

"Well, on that note, let's make sure you're successful." He sized her up for a moment, taking stock of her pencil skirt and raising an eyebrow. "It's going to be an interesting experiment," he smiled, "but if you're up for a challenge." He held out his helmet towards her. "I've got my motorcycle and the Club isn't far from here. We can call a tow for your car and I actually know a great mechanic."

She smiled, trying to envision riding on the back of the back of a motorcycle in her current state. The younger, wilder version of her would have grabbed the helmet and been on the back before he finished the sentence. It might be time, she thought to herself, to let the old Kelly Cramer come out to play.

"What do you say?" he asked again, as he stood up in front of her, helmet in hand.

"I say it beats sitting here and stewing all night." She paused only for a moment as she stood. "You aren't gonna go and get us killed, are you?"

"Eh, not tonight," he said, with a smile as he slid the jacket off his shoulders and offered it to her. "The wind will cut right through that thing," he said as he gestured to the thin jacket she wore. They walked out the door and stopped by the bike. "Get on," he grinned, "and don't forget to hold on tight."


	3. Chapter 3

Her legs still trembled a bit as she followed behind him to the brightly lit doorway. "Wait a minute," she hissed.

He turned back and watched her pull his jacket from her shoulders and carefully wrap it around her waist. "What are you doing that for?"

"Well," she grinned. "I'm not going to walk in like this … not after you channeled your inner MacGyver on my skirt. I have to admit, I was a little surprised that Billy Abbott carries around a pocketknife."

"You've gotta be prepared for anything and besides, it worked didn't it? You weren't exactly going to be able to get up there otherwise and I didn't figure you were gonna take it off."

She shrugged. "Yeah, no." She carefully fingered the slits that ran nearly to her hips on both sides. "It was one of my favorites though."

"You never know. You walk in there like that and you might start a trend. It might be all over the runway in Milan next season. I bet the male customers would like it."

"You're quite the charmer, aren't you?"

"I do my best." He flashed another smile at her as he held the door open for her walk through. "Let's get inside. It's cold out here."

"Shouldn't we wait for the tow? I don't have my luggage or anything. My reservation confirmation is in my bag and all my clothes …"

"It's all good. I'll vouch for you."

She followed behind him a bit hesitantly. "You know, you don't even know me. You've been really nice and I appreciate it more than you know, but you're doing all this and … you really don't know anything about me at all."

"There's ways of fixing that, you know." His eyes twinkled a bit as he saw the flash of something akin to shock on her face. "Lily!" He called out the name of his friend quickly.

"Billy." She smiled as she quickly approached the hostess stand. "Did you have a standing reservation tonight? I don't remember seeing your name on the books."

"No. I didn't. This is …" He turned towards her. "Kelly?" There was just enough doubt in his voice to remind her of what strangers they still were despite how comfortable she felt.

"Right," she said quickly. "Kelly Cramer. I have a reservation for a room, but I'm afraid all I have is the notification here on the app. My paperwork is in my bag which is …" She glanced back at Billy who gladly took over.

"She's had a bit of a rough night," he explained. "She's in town to meet with Jack about a job offer and she had some car trouble, ended up stranded at a dive bar outside of town. Long story short, we're waiting on her car to be towed here and I was hoping maybe you could bend the rules a bit, let her go ahead and check in to her room. If you need a deposit or something, I can …"

"I have my own money," Kelly said quickly. "It's not about that."

"It's fine." Lily waved her hand. "I actually remember the reservation and Jack talked to me personally about the breakfast meeting tomorrow morning, so you're good. You're all set. If you'll wait just a minute, I'll grab you your key."

"Thank you."

"See, I told you it would all be fine."

He was still smiling as she turned to face him. "Yes, you did. So, now that you've done your good deed for the day …"

"For the day?!" He scoffed in jest and took a few short steps back. "You mean to tell me all the good things I did tonight only gets me one day of graces. This should at least pay me up for the week."

"Okay. Okay. Your good deed for the week." She shook her head as she continued. "I know I've said thank you a few times already, but I'd really feel more comfortable if you'd let me repay you somehow."

"You don't need to do that. It wasn't any trouble. Honestly."

"It was a lot of trouble. You didn't even get to have dinner tonight, did you?"

"Well, I didn't really plan on eating at that place." He leaned in a bit closer towards her. "I'm not exactly sure the health inspector makes regular visits."

"I think you might be right about that," she grinned. "This place though …" Her eyes roamed around the room. "This place looks pretty nice." She looked back down at her own attire. "I'm not exactly dressed to impress at the moment, but if you're willing to hang out until my clothes show up, maybe we could have some dinner – my treat. At least I can say a proper thank you that way." She hesitated for a moment, realizing suddenly that she had no idea who this man was or anything about him. There was no ring on his hand, but that didn't mean … "If you need home or something though. If your wife or girlfriend is …" She felt her face flush with embarrassment at the wide smile that began to spread across his face.

"To answer your first question," he said softly. "I'd be more than happy to wait here for your things to arrive. I have a hunch a dinner with you might be worth waiting for. And as for your second question …"

She interrupted. "I didn't ask a second question."

"Well," he stepped a bit closer, still smiling, "I'll answer anyway. Let's just say, no one's waiting up anywhere for me."

"Okay then," she nodded slowly. "I'm gonna go ahead up and get freshened up, so …" She looked towards the door.

"I'll have them bring up your bags when they arrive," he smiled. There was something about her that drew him, something he couldn't quite pinpoint, a similarity of spirit, a common desire… something, something he hadn't felt in long, long time.

"Thanks," she grinned before turning away and beginning to walk up the stairs.

He watched her quietly, his eyes following her every move. "You're welcome," he whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

"Can I get you anything?"

Billy turned back to face the bartender. "No, that's alright. I'm just waiting for someone." He looked back towards the stairs again. The keys he held in his hand felt heavier with each passing moment. Her car had been dropped off nearly an hour ago and her bags had been taken upstairs. Yet, he still sat here, waiting for her.

Maybe she'd changed her mind and decided not to come down after all, but surely she would have sent a message. Maybe she'd gotten a phone call, maybe … He stopped and stood to his feet quickly, resolving not to allow his brain to continue to spin these ridiculous scenarios. He looked down at the keys again. It might come across as a little forward, but hopefully it would lead to a most enjoyable dinner.

* * *

"She looked into the full length mirror once more. The dress was casual enough, a printed sheath that fell just above her knee. She double checked the shoes again and wondered for the third time if they sent the wrong message, if the straps and heel made this seem far more flirtatious than she intended. It had been a long time since she'd had dinner with a man – at least one she hadn't known since high school. The last thing she wanted to do was give the wrong impression and …

Her entire body tensed as she heard the knock on the door. Maybe it was about her car, she thought as she rushed towards the door and slowly pulled it open.

Billy took a step back as he saw the door open. "Hey," he said softly. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I saw them come up with your things a while ago and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay and …" He held out a set of keys. "They dropped off your car and I wanted to give you these."

"Thanks." She felt the heat rush to her cheeks. "I'm sorry it's taking me so long. I had to run the steamer over my clothes and sadly this is best I could come up with." She gestured down to the dress she wore.

"I certainly don't think you need to apologize. You look great."

"Well, in comparison to earlier, I guess …" She giggled and glanced back over her shoulder towards the rest of the clothing she'd considered for the evening.

He followed her gaze. "You trying to decide on the outfit for tomorrow?"

"Yes." It was an obvious attempt by him to allow her to save face, but she readily accepted. "Interviews are always stressful. Men always have it so much easier. A suit is a suit, right?"

"Come on," he joked. "There's the color of the suit, print of the tie, suit coat or jacket. There's a least a million choices and then the make up." He laughed at the slight roll of her eyes. "Alright, so it is pretty easy, but we do have to think about shoes."

"You poor unfortunate souls," she sighed. "I'll say a prayer for you tonight." Her eyes moved to her bag on the table. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving. You ready to head downstairs?"

He nodded and extended held the door open for her. "After you," he said with a smile.

* * *

He couldn't help but watch her as she slowly let the red wine swirl in her glass for a moment before taking a sip.

"What?" She laughed softly as she felt his eyes on her. "If there's something you want to say, just say it."

"I was thinking about earlier … something you said at the bar. You said you understood what it felt like for people to expect you to screw up all the time."

She nodded wordlessly.

"You don't exactly look like the posterchild for screwing up. I mean you've got a pretty sweet ride out there and you've obviously got a pretty extensive wardrobe." His eyes twinkled in jest even as his words were more serious. "I was just wondering."

"What kind of screwing up I'm accustomed to?" She laughed softly as she saw the slight look of horror pass across his face. "It's okay," she breathed. "I don't mind talking about it. I'm actually impressed it hasn't made the rounds here."

"Well, you know it takes a lot to stun people in this town. They've got some pretty impressive feats to compare things to." He brushed his hands down the front of his chest pridefully.

"You?" She took another sip of wine. "Well now my curiosity is peaked. What kind of scandals are you involved in, Mr. Abbott?"

He held out the glass of scotch towards her. "How about we make a deal. One for one. I'll show you a skeleton in my closet if you'll dust off one of yours."

She grinned and pulled back her wine glass a bit. "Wait just a minute, what makes you think my skeletons are dusty?"

"You strike me as more a reformed screwup," he whispered. "A recovering disgrace if you will."

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment," she smiled and let her glass clink against his.


	5. Chapter 5

She ran her finger along the edge of her dinner plate as she watched the mischievous expression play on his face. "Can I make one request? Since I kind of have a vested interest?"

He laughed softly. "You can make any request you want." He was walking a fine line and he knew it. The veiled flirtatious remarks were just enough to peak her interest without coming across as completely classless.

"Well, since I'm meeting with your brother tomorrow and you've oh so vaguely mentioned that you aren't exactly on the best of terms with him …" She shrugged. "It might help if I knew what that was all about, just so I don't put my foot in my mouth."

Billy leaned back. "My brother might like that sort of thing. Who knows?"

She tossed the cloth napkin across the table at him, but couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. He had a unique ability to get away with saying outrageous things because of his boyish charm and disarming grin.

It was a relief to see her easy going reaction and he leaned in a bit closer to her across the table. "Well, that's kind of the proverbial can of worms. The long version is a bit of a sordid story, but the short one isn't much better. I kind of slept with his wife."

"Uh huh." She smiled as he refilled her wine glass. "Is there more? I get the feeling you're pouring that to prepare me for something."

"And then we kind of got together and moved in together and lived together and …"

"So, you basically stole his wife?"

"Stole is such a crass word, isn't it?" He crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned back. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way."

"That's what every woman longs to hear a man say …"

"No," he laughed, "I'm serious. I guess I kind of expected you to react a little more …" He tried to think of the word to describe what he expected. "Most people are at least mildly horrified and you just seemed a bit …"

"Unphased?"

"That'll work." He took another small sip of scotch. "So, either you're the most easygoing person on the planet or you've …"

"Done some pretty shocking things myself? I'll save you the awkward question. It's the latter." She extended her hand towards him and smiled. "Nice to meet you Pot. I'm Kettle. While I was married to my husband, I slept with his brother and ended up marrying him."

"Ah, so you really do get it. But hey," he continued, "At least you got a happy ending out of all of it, right?"

She chuckled. "Not so much. We ended up divorcing and I got back in a relationship with ex-husband."

"The brother?"

"Yeah. How's that for complicated?"

"I'm the last person on earth to tell anyone anything about their complicated relationships. My whole family is filled with shared partners and paternity secrets and just mess."

"It's funny how your entire family can be a freak show and yet they're full of advice when you make mistakes." She nodded in thanks towards the waiter who sat the dinner down in front of them. "This looks amazing."

He waited until the waiter had stepped away before he spoke again. "You're right. They're full of all this sage wisdom the second you step out of line, but can't understand why you think you'd be a fool to take it."

"Right?!" She shook her head as she chewed on a bite. "And, don't get me wrong, I've made my fair share of idiotic decisions. I've hurt a lot of people and I've broken trust and …" The words got softer as she spoke, the weight of all the pain she'd caused still seemed overwhelming to her at times.

"But you aren't proud of that." He could sense it in her – she understood. "No one is proud of the pain they cause the people they love. It happens and you're sorry but once it's over, you can't fix it. It's like they want you to make it go away, like they want your blood or something."

"In my case, they had their chance. There were days I wish they'd taken it." The confusion on his face was obvious and there was no point in keeping secrets from the virtual stranger she'd already begun to pour her heart out to. "I guess I might as well tell you all of it now, huh?"

She took in a deep breath and let the fork rest on the edge of the plate. "When I divorced my first husband and married Kevin, his brother … it was good for a while and then …" She let her eyes look down at the table. "It …" That relationship was far too complicated to attempt to sum up in a few brief sentences. "It got pretty bad and there was a night that things got a little crazy and I ended up sleeping with someone else."

Billy sat quietly, waiting for her continue.

"And that someone else happened to be his son. It was an awful night and there was a really terrible storm and we both got caught up in it. We were badly injured and a choice had to be made. At the end of the day, Kevin chose me."

"Wow," Billy breathed.

"And his son died." She saw his stunned eyes and slightly agape mouth and tried to break the tension. "See, I told you I was more of a screw up than you were."

He could recognize the use of humor as a coping strategy a mile away. He'd tried it plenty of times himself. "You've just been monopolizing the stage," he smiled. "I've got my own points to score."

"Well, you gotta at least let me take my final shot," she managed before downing the rest of the wine in her glass. "I got pregnant with my son, Zane who, in actuality, was my husband's grandson. How's that for a homerun?"

"You're mixing sports now," he said quickly. "You can't have a final shot and a homerun. There's not sport in the world in which that exists."

"If only that was the only issue, right?" She tried to laugh even as the rundown on her past sins seemed to hang heavy over her head. "Bet you didn't plan on the night ending up like this, did you?"

"Hey." He touched her arm lightly and smiled brighter. "Sometimes it's nice to talk with someone that's had some issues in their life. It makes me feel a little more normal, you know?"

"Well once you tell your brother all this, he'll probably realize how lucky he is to have you in the family and not me. This ought to take care of any chance I have at that job anyway."

"What makes you think I'd tell Jack any of this?"

"It's your Dad's company. I wouldn't expect you to keep quiet about something you'd learned that so clearly speaks to the character of …"

"This doesn't speak to anything except the fact that you've been dealt some pretty crappy cards in life and believe me, I know a lot about crappy cards. You're talking to a gambling addict that's done a couple stints in rehab," he jokingly boasted.

"You've got me there." She was almost shocked to feel a genuine smile cross her face. "I've never done any time in rehab … yet," she added. "Life is certainly not through throwing wrenches my way."

Billy smiled and reached across the table to lightly pat her hand. "Tell you what," he whispered, "For tonight at least, it is."


	6. Chapter 6

"Thanks for dinner," he said as they approached her hotel room door, "It was nice, really nice."

She looked up at him, almost surprised by the genuine feeling of comfort and relaxation that coursed through her body. "Yeah," she admitted, "it really was. It was nice to have someone to talk to … especially someone that didn't run for cover after hearing my life story."

"Come on. It's not so bad. You haven't done anything most people in this town haven't done." He laughed as her eyes widened.

"I've dropped right in the middle of a Biblical cesspool, haven't I?"

"That's an interesting turn of phrase. Can I steal that? The next time we're naming a park or something, that's a sure bet for a town motto."

He flashed another smile at her and she felt her heart flutter a bit. _'Stop it.'_ she mentally chastised herself. This was the last thing she needed. She hadn't come to town for this.

"It's all yours," she smiled. She looked down at the time on her phone. "I should probably get in there. It's an early morning tomorrow and I don't want to show up looking like death warmed over."

"I don't think you could look like that if you tried." He held the door open as she stepped into her room and turned back to face him.

"Good luck on the interview," he smiled. "Forget my issues with my brother, he's a smart guy and a damn good businessman. He'll know a good thing when he sees it."

She watched him as he headed towards the elevator. His sly smile held her attention even after the doors closed.

* * *

"Mr. Abbott." She took his hand and shook it firmly. "It's nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine." Jack gestured to the seat across the small table and waited for her sit before settling into his own chair. "And please, call me Jack. Mr. Abbott was my father."

"Alright, Jack, but only if you'll call me Kelly."

"I think I can manage that." He took a drink from his coffee cup and leaned back a bit in his chair. "I have to say, I'm more than a little surprised to even be sitting here with you."

Her eyebrows raised. "You're the one that contacted me."

"True." He laughed softly. "But that was my version of taking a shot. I didn't want to have regrets later. I figured the worst you could say was no, but I never expected you to actually say yes."

"You make a pretty good argument. I figured I had to come and at least hear you out. I don't much care for having regrets either."

"Sounds like we might have something in common." He looked up at the waiter who approached them. "Please order anything you'd like," he said to her, "They have an excellent eggs benedict."

"That sounds fantastic," she nodded to the waiter in agreement.

"I'll have the same," Jack added. He waited until she'd sat her coffee cup back down on the table to continue. "So tell me, you said I managed to make a persuasive enough argument to get you here, what's it going to take to get you to stay?"

She folded the napkin across her lap again. "What makes you think you'll have to persuade me? Whose to say I'm not looking for a reason to relocate?"

Jack's head tilted in interest. "Are you?"

She grinned. "Maybe I am. Maybe this was the perfect offer at the perfect time."

"Well that would make me a very lucky man, wouldn't it?" Jack smiled broadly as the waiter sat the dishes down in front of them. Kelly Cramer's resume was impressive to say the least. She'd done wonders for Buchanan Enterprises and her work with the online marketing department for The London I had earned her numerous accolades. Still, he hadn't expected to be quite so enamored with her. She smiled often and laughed easily. Maybe having her at Jabot would be good for him professionally and personally.

"As much as I'd love to stay and continue this conversation, I'm afraid duty calls." Jack stood at the table and brushed his hands down the front of his suit coat. "I've got another meeting this afternoon though I'm sure it won't be nearly as enjoyable."

"This was wonderful. I really appreciate your time, Mr …" She caught herself and smiled. "Jack."

"I'm the one that should be thanking you," he said. "You haven't even made any formal decisions yet and you've already given me some invaluable insights and some fantastic ideas."

"I'm glad I could help and I'll look forward to looking over that offer."

"Actually …" He lifted his briefcase onto the table and quickly flipped the top open. He handed her a blue folder as he let a small grin pass across his face. "Some people say it's arrogance, but …"

She opened the folder to see a formal offer of employment. "I'd say it's optimism and a healthy dose of preparation," she countered. "I'll look this over as soon as I can and I'll get back to you. I've really enjoyed talking this morning and I really hope we get to work together."

Jack nodded. "So do I." He took her hand and shook it, much more gently this time. "I hope to hear from you soon."

"You will," she smiled. She sat back down at the table as he headed for the door.

* * *

"That looked promising."

Kelly turned around quickly, surprised to hear the familiar voice behind her. "What are you doing here?"

Billy took the now vacant seat. "I just wanted to see how the interview went and I've kind of been lurking in the coat closet until Jack left to minimize the chance of a scene."

She covered her face with her hands and shook her head. "Well thank goodness for that."

"Sooooo …" He reached for the coffee pot and stood to snatch an empty cup from another table. "How'd it go?" He teased her with a sing song voice as he poured the coffee into his cup.

"It went well," she answered, more than a bit amused by his shenanigans. "He gave me the offer and I'm going to look over it."

"You want me to take a look at it?" He reached for the file.

She pulled back quickly. "You just assume I'm as incompetent with employment offers as I am with automobile mechanics and drunken suitors?"

"I'd never assume such a thing," he countered. "I was merely suggesting that I might provide some insight since I'm a board member at Jabot and since I've been looking at the employment contracts my brother has drawn up since I was old enough to know what an employment contract was …"

She narrowed her eyes. "You make a decent point. Alright." She slid the file across the table towards him. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to …"

"Kelly, I just wanted to-" Jack's voice stopped suddenly.

"Jack." Billy stood and stepped away from the table. "Morning."

"Let me guess," Jack huffed. "You're here to try and tell her why working at Chancellor or whatever new venture you've come up with would be so much more lucrative than Jabot?"

"Jack, you've got this all wrong. I was don't anything like that. I …"

"Why don't we step out for a minute?" His jaw was tense as he stared into his brother's eyes. He wanted so much to feel something for him, something that wasn't clouded in so much resentment and distrust, but he couldn't forget – and maybe he never would.

"Jack." She stood now too, hoping to stop things before they got too far. "I really think you're …"

"Kelly," Billy spoke now. "Jack's right. We do need to step out. He and I have a lot to talk about."


	7. Chapter 7

"You feel better now, Jack?" Billy crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his brother. "You think making a scene like that makes me look bad? All it does is make you look petty and resentful and …"

Jack felt his jaw tense as he gritted his teeth. "Petty? You're going to come in here like this and have the nerve to call me petty?" He shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "You really don't know when to quit, do you? Every time I think you've done your worst, you go and find another knife to stick in my back."

"That paranoia of yours is a beast, big brother." He kept his feet planted firmly in place. Jack wouldn't intimidate him this time. "My showing up here has absolutely nothing to do with you."

"The hell it doesn't. We talked about this in the board meeting just the other day. You knew I was planning to meet with her and what? You decided to one up me?"

"For what, Jack? I don't have a position at Jabot. I'm not working at Chancellor. I don't have an underground project that I'm plotting. What exactly am I recruiting her for?"

"That's always the last piece of the puzzle, isn't it? You don't think about things logically. You never have. You go for the emotional hit – the payoff, whatever feels good, whatever causes the most chaos. That's your MO."

"Is that really what you think? You really think I sit around and think of all he different ways I can stick it to you?" He looked his brother in the eyes again. "I've got better to do with my time. You can hate me. You can spend the rest of your days wondering and planning all the ways you might make me pay for what I did, but I'm not wasting my life on that. I'm moving on. Maybe you want to do try to do the same." He turned and headed towards the door.

He let the breath flow through his lips slowly as he internally seethed. He hated it when Billy bested him. He'd already done it once with his wife – it wouldn't happen again.

* * *

"Kelly Cramer." Billy repeated. "She was at the table right over there."

The waiter shook his head. "I don't know," he admitted. "I'm sorry. That table was cleared a few moments ago. I'll be happy to get another table ready for you, Mr Abbott."

"No, that's alright." He stepped back and tried not to let the disappointment show on his face. "I won't be needing a table this morning."

"What did you do?" Jack's accusatory tone was like a slap in the face.

"What are you talking about?" The words came out with venom as he whirled around to look at him.

"She's gone," Jack said as he gestured over towards the table. "What did you say to her?"

"I didn't say anything, Jack. Not that I'd expect you to believe me. She was already gone when I came in. The waiter said they cleared the table a few minutes ago. He doesn't know where she went."

"Fantastic." Jack looked down at his watch. "I don't have time for you right now. I've got a job to get to." He looked him up and down, his gaze full of condemnation. "That's more than I can say for you."

Billy slid onto the barstool and nodded gratefully as his usual materialized in front of him. Yet again, he found himself alone.

* * *

"Thank you, sir." The bellhop took the folded bills and slipped them into his jacket pocket.

"Good man," he said with a smile as he headed up the stairs.

Over the years many people had asked him the secret to his success and he always said the same thing. "It's hard work. It's dedication. It's trial and error and taking risks, but sometimes it's just about being in the right place at the right time."

Today he certainly was.

* * *

Kelly let her body sink into the chair as she allowed her eyes to flutter closed. How had she managed to find another set of two feuding brothers? She'd left London to get away from the drama. She wanted normalcy. She wanted to find what everyone else seemed to have and all she seemed to find was more chaos.

Her eyes fell on the file folder and the offer of employment that rested inside. Jabot Cosmetics was a successful, thriving company and working for their online marketing department would give her a challenging, fulfilling opportunity. It would also put her exactly where she needed to be – exactly where all roads had led her to this point. But there were already complications.

Billy Abbott was a distraction. In the space of an hour, she'd told him things she hadn't revealed to the colleagues she'd been working with for years back in London. It was insanity on some level and the most natural feeling in the world on the another.

She sat still as she heard the knock on the door. Jack had told her he had another meeting at the office and if it wasn't him … She stood and smoothed her hair behind her ears as she slowly headed towards the door. Billy was the only other person that knew she was here. No doubt he was wondering why she'd disappeared from the dining room. If only she had a good answer.

"I'm sorry I just …" She stopped as she saw the man standing before her. "You're not …"

"Jack Abbott." He smiled at her and shook his head. "Hell no, I'm not. And I'm not that useless brother of his either." He held out his hand toward her. "I'm …"

"You don't have to tell me who you are," she said quickly, her body still blocking the doorway. "Everyone knows Victor Newman." She smiled. "Your reputation proceeds you."

Victor nodded. "Ms. Cramer – so does yours."


	8. Chapter 8

"Well that's certainly ominous." She studied his demeanor as he stood in front of her. "I'm not sure if I need to start denying or …"

"Not at all," he smiled. "I wouldn't be here unless I liked what I heard."

"Good to know," she replied. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but if you don't mind my asking, why are you here? You don't strike me as the type that makes impromptu visits on a whim."

"Straight to the point," he grinned, "and also a very astute businesswoman. You're right. I didn't come here for a social call. I wanted to discuss a proposal with you if you have a few moments."

She stepped to the side of the door and gestured towards the inside of the room. "Who would be foolish enough to send Victor Newman away?"

"More people than you'd imagine," he muttered as he stepped inside the room. "But I'm glad to know you're not among them. You see the big picture. That's important and it bodes well for your business acumen. It tells me a number of things." He took a seat at the small table and waited for her to sit down as well.

"Does it?"

"Absolutely. The most important thing it tells me is that you need to collaborate with someone that can cultivate that innovative, creative spirit, someone that can support you and nurture your ambition and strength, someone that respects your drive and appreciations your intuition."

"Uh huh." She leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "So, I'm guessing you're trying to suggest that wouldn't be describing Jack Abbott."

"I'm not suggesting anything," Victor said gruffly. "I'll tell you that straight away. Jack Abbott and Jabot Cosmetics aren't going to allow you to anywhere near the flexibility and control you need to truly be able to exercise the depth of your talent. Jack Abbott can't even conceive of your kind of originality and vigor."

"Mr. Newman …"

"Call me Victor," he said with a smile. "I'm on a first name basis with all of my associates."

"I'm not one of your associates," she said softly.

"Not yet," he said confidently.

She sighed. "I came here to meet with Mr. Abbott about a job offer. That's the only reason I'm even in town."

"I guess in that instance, I do owe him a debt of gratitude then. Were it not for his interference, you and I might have never been able to stumble on this perfect opportunity." He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. "I had our legal department draft up a very early, very provisional offer."

He watched as she took the envelope and placed it flat on the table. "Mr. Newman, while I appreciate the offer, I feel that I should honor the initial reason for my visit and …"

"No one said you shouldn't." Victor leaned forward and locked eyes with her. "Think of it this way. If you had a business issue and you were presented with a solution, would you immediately accept that solution as the only viable choice, or would you be open to other alternatives – especially alternatives with more lucrative potential."

She bit down on her lower lip and scowled a bit as she relented and tore open the envelope. Her eyes widened involuntarily as she scrolled down the length of the terms. "This is …"

"As I said," he interrupted. "It's just a starting point. I'm very flexible."

"No. I …" She stopped herself, not wanting to reveal anything confidential and certainly not willing to compromise Jack's offer. "It's a very generous offer, but I just don't think that I'm in any position to discuss anything with you at this point."

Victor stood. "And that's understandable. You've just shown me that you also have integrity – an invaluable quality in business." He paused. "As long as you can tell the difference between integrity and pity." He paused again to let the words sink in. "And I'm sure someone of your caliber can do that with ease."

She followed behind him slowly as he headed towards the door. He turned towards her before leaving again.

"I'm sure you know how to reach me?"

His gravely voice had a way of unsettling her and she nodded in lieu of answer.

"Excellent." He smiled warmly again. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."

"You too," she whispered.

* * *

She closed her eyes as she let the red wine flow slowly down her throat. Victor's words still echoed in her head as she tried to push the events of the evening out of her mind. Working for Victor Newman would, in some circles, be the dream, but for her – it wasn't what she came for.

Working for Jack Abbott was simple. It was clean. Jabot had had its share of issues, but their overall culture was simplistic – not at all like Newman. Dark and ruthless were almost synonymous with Newman Enterprises, in large part because of their leader – the very man that had met with her this evening.

Her stomach churned a bit as she heard the familiar knock again. She'd known she hadn't been forceful enough. Victor Newman could smell weakness, and he'd spotted hers from a mile away. Surely he was here now – to capitalize on it.

The door felt impossibly heavy as she pulled it open slowly.

"You know, I really thought I had you pegged, Kelly Cramer."

"Billy?" The sight of him was such a relief she almost sighed. "I didn't expect to see you this evening."

"Yeah, I bet." He was seething even as he tried to control his anger.

The initial relief had shrouded his obvious anger, but it now shone brightly. "Is something wrong? You seem upset?"

"Ya think? Why would I be upset, Kelly? What did you think I would do? Did you think just because my brother and I aren't on good terms that I'd be okay with this?"

"With what?" She was completely confused.

He drew in a deep breath as his insides quivered in anger. "Don't play innocent with me." He stepped closer towards her and leaned in. "With you working with Victor Newman to screw over Jabot."


	9. Chapter 9

"What?" The accusation stunned her into a momentary silence. She shook her head as she tried to organize her thoughts. "I'm not working with Victor," she said quickly. "I don't know where you got that information, but …"

"Really?" His eyes were filled with anger as he stared at her with a disdain she'd seen far too many times in her life. "That's how you're going to play this? You think you can just lie your way out of it?" Her silence seemed to infuriate him more and he drew in a sharp breath. "You want to know where I got the information?"

"Yes. I do because wherever it was, whoever it was, they're lying. I'm not working with Victor. I …"

"Victor told me." He waited, expecting a expression of guilt, an excuse, an apology, something.

"Victor? He …" She stopped her own words, her mind spun with far too many thoughts. "Will you come in please? Just let me explain what happened?"

He turned on his heel and faced the elevator. "I don't really need to hear the extended version. It's pretty clear to me and I'll make damn sure it's crystal clear to my brother."

"Billy – wait! Please."

It was something in her tone that stopped him. It wasn't anger or even fear. It wasn't even entirely desperation. It was something you had to have felt to recognize – the depth of brokenness that only someone who had felt that level of empty could understand. He turned around slowly and let his eyes meet hers once more. "I don't know what you think you can say to me that will make any of this okay," he said quietly.

"Just give me a chance. Please. I don't know what Victor told you, but I promise you, it's not what you think. I'm not working with him. I swear."

He let his breath out slowly and stepped through the open door. "Why don't you sit down? I was having a glass of wine. Can I get you one?"

"Sure." His eyes moved to the envelope on the table. He couldn't help but see the Newman letterhead.

She handed him the glass and followed his gaze. "I guess you're wondering about this?" She took a seat across from him and pulled the paper closer to her. "Look, I had no idea that Victor was going to come see me tonight. I've never contacted him for any reason and I had no intention of it."

"So what? He just decided to drop by and arbitrarily throw out a job offer?"

"Believe me, I thought it was strange too and I asked him about it. He said he'd heard that I was in town and that he wanted to give me a better offer. I told him that I'd only come to town to meet with Jack. I was very clear with him. I'm not going behind Jack's back here. I'm not trying to hurt your family's company. I wouldn't do that." The disbelief was still evident on his face.

"You don't believe me, do you?" she sighed.

"It just … None of this makes any sense."

"Well then, I don't know what to tell you Billy." She stood up in obvious frustration. "Because that's the truth and I'm not sure what else you want me to do here."

"I want you to explain to me why you would choose to leave London, why you would choose to leave a company the size of Buchanan Enterprises to come here. You've got to admit, it seems a little absurd."

"I already told you, I just needed a fresh start. I would think our conversation over dinner would have at least made that a little more believable."

He moved around her, stepping in front of her to gauge her expression. "I'm not trying to be an ass here. Believe me, I do know what it's like to feel like you have to get away, but I know Victor Newman and I know what he's capable of and if you got sucked to it somehow …"

"I didn't come here for Victor Newman!" Her abrupt change in tone startled him and he instinctively took a step back. "I came here for me, okay?"

"Okay." He moved back to his chair and took his seat again. "I'm listening."

It wasn't something she'd planned to tell him. It wasn't something she'd planned to tell anyone. Leaving London had been about so many things, but one of the biggest was leaving behind the overwhelming pain, the memories, the guilt.

She took another drink from her wine glass. The comfort she normally found there wasn't present tonight. His eyes seemed to continue to search her for answers and she knew he wouldn't leave until he had them. "When I heard about the position at Jabot, I thought it was an answer … maybe to a prayer even though I'm not entirely sure God is even listening to me anymore." Her throat tightened and she forced the words to continue. "Maybe it's just pity at this point. I don't know. Anyway, I thought it was an opportunity to get away from everything that reminded me of what I did, what I lost."

The words sounded eerily familiar. So many times he'd had similar thoughts. He'd wondered if it would be easier to simply get away and start over, somewhere else where he didn't have to remember or be reminded of his past sins every other minute. "I know how that feels," he said quietly. "It's hard to move on when everywhere you look reminds you of the hell you've been through."

"Yeah, especially when you brought that hell on yourself."

"Come on." His tone had now softened considerably as he saw the pain etched on her face. "I know I don't know you that well, but I can't imagine that you'd do anything to intentionally hurt anyone."

"Sometimes the intention doesn't matter," she whispered. "Sometimes when the result is so horrible, the circumstances get lost and all that anyone can see is what was lost. Having someone to blame is … it helps I guess. I get it. I do. Even if that someone was me."


	10. Chapter 10

"Here." He handed her the drink and flashed a sympathetic smile. "Sometimes you need something a little bit stronger."

She scoffed a bit, but still took a small sip of the liquid. The slight burn wasn't unfamiliar. She'd tried many things to numb the pain, but none of them did anything to stop the thoughts. Even this was a reminder. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the tears before they had a chance to form.

"Listen," he whispered as he sat back down in front of her. "I'd be a hypocrite if I tried to tell you not to blame yourself for things that have happened. I've worked pretty hard to perfect the art of self loathing. What I can tell you is it doesn't help. It doesn't do anything to make it better. It doesn't take away the pain. It doesn't help you or anyone else move on. It just creates more misery for everyone."

"I deserve the misery though. You don't understand. See, there are some things that just happen and sure, you can say, 'Life happens. People make mistakes.' That works with some stuff, but this … What I did. You don't get to just brush that off." She felt her eyes burn again as the feelings seemed to wash back over here. It had been over a year now, but there were still moments it hurt like it was yesterday.

"Whatever it was," he said softly, "Whatever you did, I'm sure it's no worse than some of the stunts I've pulled and I'm sure no one is blaming you – no one but yourself."

She shook her head. "That's where you're wrong. People did blame me because it was my fault. I made the choice. Even when they don't say it, I can see it in their eyes. I can hear it in what they didn't say. I could feel it in the distance between us."

There was a haunted tone to her voice that he recognized. He shifted the chair closer towards her, the connection he felt something he no longer needed to even try to understand. "If you want to tell me, I'm probably the most non-judgmental person you'll ever want to meet."

The breath seemed to fall from her parted lips. "You should judge me." The words were whispered, shrouded in a mix of shame and anguish. "I judge me."

"I won't," he assured her. "I swear."

Something made her believe him.

"You remember I told you that after I divorced Kevin, I got back in a relationship with my ex-husband?" She waited for his response, hoping he'd followed the sordid story enough not to need another explanation.

"Right, the brother, the original one?"

"Right." She smiled at the odd phrasing in spite of herself and leaned over to take another drink from the glass. "Well, you can add another failed marriage to my already impressive record because our second divorce was finalized about five months ago." She swallowed past the bile that threatened to rise up in her throat.

"You can't blame yourself for a divorce though. No matter what, there are always two people in a marriage and …"

"It was my fault." The words flew from her mouth in an almost involuntary reaction. She needed him to understand. She didn't deserve his defense. "He couldn't even look at me and I don't blame him."

"If you're talking about the affair with his brother then …"

"I'm not." Her breath trembled as she sat the glass down. "That's what's so incredible about all of this, you know?" Her eyes glimmered as she looked at him.

He could see the thin layer of tears that seemed to hang in the balance, just waiting for permission to fall. She was walking the thin edge of composure and he could only stand still and offer her a lifeline. She shook slightly as he touched her hand gently.

"He was able to get past that," she whispered. "We both were. We were able to rebuild something together … something really good and we were happy. I thought we were finally going to be together forever and we would have if I hadn't been so incredibly stupid and selfish and …" She bit down on her lip hard and squeezed her eyes together. She had to keep going, no matter how much it hurt. No matter how horrible the words sounded as they came from her lips, she needed to say it out loud. Billy had to know what kind of person she was.

"It was raining." She straightened in the chair and managed to compose herself again. "The kind of rain that comes down in sheets, you know? And the wind was blowing so it was a mess. Living in London, you get used to the rain, but that day was particularly bad. I had a client that I'd been working with and I was knee deep in a presentation. I'd been working from home a good bit for the last few weeks, but I realized I'd left a folder that I really needed at the office."

Even now, even after all this time she could still hear the sound of the rain, the howling of the wind. She could still hear Joey's voice on the phone.

_"__Kel, it'll all still be there tomorrow." _

_"__I know, but I told them I'd send them the slides tomorrow morning. I don't want them to think that I'm not reliable. I've been working on this deal for months, Joey. This could be huge for BE. It'll literally take half an hour for me to run to the office, grab the file, and then I'll come right back home." _

_"__I know," he sighed. "I know you hate when I go all over protective with you, but it's really awful out there. I saw three wrecks on my way in this morning. There's no deal worth putting my girls at risk." _

_She sighed. "Alright. Fine." She slumped back against the sofa and pulled the quilt up over her swollen belly. "I'll stay here. I'll just send Kevin and email and let him know that the presentation is going to be a little bit late and I'll ask him if he can smooth things over with the clients." _

_"__Thank you." _

_She couldn't help but smile as she heard his lips smack into the phone. _

_"__I'm going to expect one of those in person when you get home," she said with a smile. _

_"__You can bank on that and I'll throw in a foot rub and a massage and anything else you can dream up." _

_"__I'm going to hold you to that," she smiled. "I'm also going to tell Kevin that he can hold you personally responsible if we lose this deal." _

_"__I'll happily take the blame," he said. "You let me deal with Kevin. You just take care of our girl." _

She felt the tears as it began to roll down her cheek and quickly reached up to brush it away.

"Joey asked me not to go. The weather was bad and he was worried about me, but Joey was a worrier and when I got pregnant, he went into overdrive. I had some problems with I was pregnant with Zane, my oldest son, and I think he was just concerned that things would be complicated in this pregnancy too. I tried to indulge him as much as I could. I'd started working as much as I could from home and I rested a lot, but on this particular day, I thought he was just being nervous and a little bit over the top, so …"

He could see where this was going and it suddenly made sense. The kinship he'd felt had been a shared experience of the worst possible kind of hell. "But you went anyway, right? You went to the office to get the file?"

She nodded. "I don't even really remember the accident. When I woke up, they told me that I'd hydroplaned and the seatbelt had locked on my belly. It caused a placental abruption and …." She felt her throat close up as more tears began to fall.

"It was just too early," she managed.

For the first time in months, she didn't stop the tears as they began to flow. She didn't push away the man in front of her as he wrapped her in his arms. She didn't argue when he whispered how sorry he was and how he knew she didn't mean for this to happen. She let herself hurt, let herself cry, and let herself be held.

* * *

"Have you taken care of it?" Victor looked behind him at the doorway to ensure he was alone in the house. His brows furrowed in frustration and he poured himself a drink and sat it down hard on the mantle. "I gave you very specific instructions," he continued. "If I was able to find the connections so quickly, I'm certain Ms. Cramer will be able to do so with very little effort. She's a journalist. She's an internet marketing expert. She's had years to perfect skills just like this. If you can't make this happen, just say so and I'll find someone that's more capable to take …" He stopped.

"I don't make a habit of giving second changes," he growled. "Consider this your last chance. I'll be in touch tomorrow and I expect far better results than the ones you gave me today."


	11. Chapter 11

She wasn't sure how long she'd allowed it to go on. It had been months since she'd let herself go like this, since she'd stopped trying to reign in the tears, since she'd let herself feel the pain instead of gritting her teeth and trying to push through. And it wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry," she managed as she steadied her breathing and pulled away from his embrace. "I didn't mean to fall apart on you like that. That's not … That's not normally how I am."

"It's okay," he said softly. He let his hand rest on her shoulder, still mindful of her trembling voice. "You don't have to apologize."

Her eyes warily searched his for a moment as she put a bit more space between them and then lowered herself onto the small sofa. "That's nice of you to say, but you barely know me and I can't imagine what you must think."

He smiled as he sat down next to her. "I think you've had a tough time of it," he said quietly. "I think sometimes it's hard to talk about it and maybe it's a little easier if you're talking to someone that doesn't know you all that well and I think if I can help, even it's just by listening, I'm happy to do it."

She blinked back the tears that now seemed to think they had a never ending free pass to fall. "Why? Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because you're a nice person," he answered simply. "Because you deserve a little compassion, a little kindness. We all do." He leaned over and pulled a tissue from the box, handing it to her as her eyes met his again.

"I don't know." She closed her eyes as the memories rushed back. She could still hear the doctor's words echoing in the mind, the finality of it all. And then, it was Joey – the look in his eyes, the mix of worry and agony that barely masked the anger he tried so hard not to show her. "Even if everyone else forgave me, even if I believed they did, I don't think I'd ever forgive myself," she muttered.

He nodded silently. There would be a time to tell her how deeply he understood, a time he could truly explain why he connected with this tragedy on such a personal level, but that time wasn't now. This was her grief and she needed to move through it.

"That's going to be the hardest part," he said simply. "You're still punishing yourself. Even someone that barely knows you can see that."

"Why should I get to move on with my life and be happy when she never even got to have one?"

He intimately knew the pain he saw in reflected in her eyes. "I don't have the answers," he breathed before letting his hand quickly wipe a wayward tear from her cheek. "But what good does it do if you just curl up and die, huh? Then two lives are over and who does that help?" He held up his hand as he stopped himself. "I'm sorry," he sighed. "I know how that sounds. I've heard that kind of crap from so many people and I know exactly how it sounds and how it makes you feel and …"

"No." She was as surprised to say it as he was to hear it.

"I mean, I've been to my share of therapists who basically have said the same thing and, to be honest, I haven't really taken it that well, but from you … it's …" She shook her head as she tried to figure out the difference. "I don't know," she finally admitted. "It just feels different. More sincere, I guess."

"It is," he assured her. "I know you're hurting and I know you don't really know me and I don't really know you, but maybe that's good. Maybe we can help each other. Maybe running into you that night wasn't an accident … maybe it was exactly the way it was supposed to happen. I think …" He stopped as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

"Sorry," he whispered. His mouth instantly went dry as he looked down at the screen. "I'm really sorry. I have to take this."

She watched as he quickly stood up and moved to the other side of the room. His relaxed, easy going demeanor was now tense and almost frantic. His hands moved up and down in time with his slightly raised voice.

"I know. I know. You're right, Vic. You're absolutely right. I just lost track of time. I'm here though. Where are you?"

His shoulders rose and fell quickly. "Okay, good. I'll meet you downstairs. No! I do. It's fine. I can be down in two minutes. No, Vic. I'll come to …" He shoved the phone back in his pocket and turned back to face her.

"I have to go for a minute," he said quickly. His face was slightly flushed as he headed for the door. "But I can come back. Just give me a …" He opened the door to head into the hallway and instantly heard the familiar voice.

"Daddy!"

The smile was fixed on his face as he leaned down and scooped Katie up in his arms. She could never see the dread that truly filled him. "Hey sweetheart," he whispered as he planted a kiss on her cheek. "I'm so glad Mommy was able to bring you by. I was running a little bit late tonight. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Daddy," Katie said with a grin. "Mommy said you were probably just busy."

Billy nodded, grateful that things hadn't yet deteriorated to the point that Victoria was bashing him in front of the kids. "Mommy was right." He said the words as he met his ex-wife's scowling eyes.

"Thanks for bringing her. I was …"

Victoria let her head nod towards Kelly. "Busy," she added. "I see."

"Oh no …" Kelly took a step forward trying desperately to focus on Victoria and not on the blonde haired little girl Billy held in his arms. "It's nothing like that. Billy was just talking with me about a job offer that …"

"Wait a minute." Victoria stood still for a moment as she tried to place the face that had looked slightly familiar since the moment she'd stepped out of the elevator. "You're Kelly Cramer, aren't you?" She didn't wait for a response, already confident in her assessment of the situation. "I'm Victoria Newman," she said as she extended her hand.

Kelly nodded. "I know. I recognize you from all the publicity photos you've taken with your father." She paused for only a moment before continuing. "He's already been here, by the way, so if he sent you to try and …"

"My father?" Victoria's brow furrowed. "He hasn't sent me for anything. I came here to bring my daughter to spend the night with her father. That's all and now that I've done that, I guess I'll be going." Victoria leaned in towards Katie and gave her a quick kiss. "Have fun, sweetheart," she said softly.

It was silent as Victoria's steely gaze remained on them while the elevator doors closed.

"I hope I didn't cause you any trouble," Kelly said finally, her soft voice breaking the tension.

"You didn't cause anything. I'm always in trouble – no help required." He smiled as he looked down at Katie who impatiently twirled beside him. "I guess I better get her settled. You know you can call if you need anything, just call."

She laughed softly. "What are you gonna move in here now?" For a moment she saw the ever so brief flash of injury on his face. "Oh, I …" She'd stepped in it yet again and she silently cursed herself for being so insensitive. "I didn't mean anything by that. There's nothing wrong with that. It's a nice place and …"

"Just not somewhere you'd expect someone to live, right?" He ran his hand through his daughter's hair as he tried not to let himself feel guilty for not having the respectable home for his kids.

"That's not what I meant. I just …" She struggled to find some kind of way to make the comment sound less harsh than it had initially. "I just thought you would live somewhere …"

"Less transient?"

"Billy." She shook her head, resigning herself to the fact that she was an ass.

"Daddy?" Katie's small voice interrupted the awkward moment. "Can we order ice cream like we did last time?"

He grinned down at her. She immediately knew the rules were relaxed in his presence. "We'll see," he responded.

"That means yes," Katie beamed as she looked up at Kelly. "It always does."

"I'll bet your Daddy hardly ever says no to you, huh?"

Katie shrugged and smiled. "Do you like ice cream?"

Kelly couldn't help but feel drawn to the precocious child who'd inherited her father's charm and ability to connect with a total stranger on a moment's notice. "I do," she replied. "Maybe your Daddy would let me order some for all three of us?"

Katie's eyes widened as she looked back at Billy hopefully. "Can she?"

Billy smiled. It had been a rough night and kids had a way of making everything better. "Well, I guess it's already been established that I don't say no very often." He patted Katie on the head as he locked eyes with Kelly once more. "What harm is a little late night snack going to do?"


End file.
